“What is the measure of a meaningful relationship then? For me it is when there is reciprocity,” Zeenat Aman wrote.
Iconic Bollywood actor Zeenat Aman has had her fair share of failed relationships, and she doesn’t shy away from them.
She took to Instagram on Monday to share her thoughts on the essence of meaningful relationships in a heartfelt post that included an image of her from her younger days. “This Monday, a meditation on meaningful relationships… I have not had too many. I didn’t dwell on it when I was younger, but now I have been giving it some thought. There is a saying – it’s lonely at the top. Well, it’s lonely at the bottom too. I have experienced both,” she wrote.
Aman admitted that as a public persona, it was hard for her to find meaningful relationships as it always “overshadowed” who she truly was. She revealed, “The idea that people have of me has been something of a prison, even while it has been a privilege. With men, their intent was almost always obvious, which was flattering but ultimately shallow. ”
She emphasised that a key measure of a genuine connection for her is “reciprocity,” where both the partners celebrate each other in various ways.
But what does it truly mean to have a reciprocal relationship?
Gurleen Baruah, occupational psychologist and executive coach at That Culture Thing, tells indianexpress.com, “A reciprocal relationship is all about balance and mutual respect, where both people are invested in making the relationship work. At its core, it’s about give-and-take, but not in a transactional way where you’re keeping score. Instead, it’s more about ensuring that both of you feel valued and supported over time.”
She continues, “In a healthy reciprocal relationship, there’s a natural flow of energy — sometimes you’re the one giving more, and other times you’re on the receiving end. This balance comes from a place of emotional investment.”
Why is reciprocity important?
Baruah explains, “Reciprocity is vital in romantic relationships because it creates a foundation of mutual respect and emotional investment. When both partners are actively giving and receiving support, the relationship thrives because each person feels valued and understood. This mutual exchange helps to build trust, intimacy, and a sense of partnership.”
Psychologically, she mentions that humans have an inherent need for fairness in their relationships. “This is tied to our sense of equity, where we instinctively feel that relationships should involve a balanced exchange.”
A lack of reciprocity can lead to a dynamic where one partner feels superior or more in control, she adds, while the other feels powerless or undervalued.
How to address an imbalance in the relationship
Here are some steps suggested by Baruah:
Encourage Open Communication: The first step to addressing a lack of reciprocity is having an open and honest conversation with your partner. Express your feelings and concerns without assigning blame.
Express and Tailor Your Needs: Be clear about what you need from your partner and make sure to tailor your requests to their strengths or love language. If feeling unappreciated is an issue, ask for more verbal recognition or suggest specific ways your partner can contribute more.
Think Long-Term: Rather than focusing on one-off imbalances, look at the relationship over time. Consider whether the support and care are generally balanced. Regular check-ins with your partner can help maintain this balance and ensure that both of you feel equally valued.
Address Negative Reciprocity: If one partner is giving less but expecting more in return, it’s important to address this directly. Discuss how this behaviour is affecting the relationship and work together to establish more equitable patterns of give-and-take.
Seek Professional Guidance: If the imbalance persists or is deeply rooted, seeking help from a relationship therapist can be beneficial.
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